"El Vaquero Solitario Despues Huso" So it really starts in full with a retooling of Crank Sturgeon... though Crank had been a crazy little breech-birth in 1992 and had endured countless shows and experiments (art school, basements, theater-pieces), the fish-like transmogrification hadn't quite reared itself. Then one long-ass tour through Europe and Asia in 1996 tossed everything up in the air; and this show marks the SEACHANGE. Donned in a black plastic triangular fishy-head, El Vaquero (this lonesome cowherder & his mystical visions 'pon consuming a 13 foot sturgeon named, Huso), spastically beat on an amplified water bottle while wailing lonesome shitnoise, pooping forth what would be the rest of this here story, that is to say, a tale of falling down a lot, wearing impossible costumes (as well as taking on impossible tasks), and the head-to-toe use & abuse of contact mics... where'd it all go down? A place probably long gone, The Villa Victoria in Boston, MA. Exact date unknown. May 1997
"Anti-first", The Clog an' Crank debut! First off, Clog was a cardboard robot. We had ties to art school, and thereafter many verbal fights and feuds and shared ideas on fighting and feuding; and yet always trying to combine these into something more cohesive. So we decided to make noise together. I (you) don't remember the show except opening up for a punk band and some lady asking us what our name was. We hadn't decided on it yet, exactly, as it was a toss-up of four names: Anti-Friend Hut, Blampy Stamp, Brontosphere, and (my favorite) Portable Man Boy Lyceum. So we gave her the last one, soliciting a wide eyed "could you repeat that?" Zootz, Portland, ME, maybe 06.97
"Saturday Matinee" the jazz of hitting each other with amplified sticks, Clog & Crank trundled their routine to a larger jungle of the the-then aptly titled, "Cracktown, USA". Noted as being Anti-Friend Hut's 2nd ever performance, though the name still hadn't stuck yet. I think it was still under the "Blampy Stamp" name. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 06.21.97
"Commode Minstrels in..." Back along in these days, Crank met Chris Cooper. He'd just moved to Portland from San Fransicko. Being that weirdo-noise-doods have a secret pact worldwide, we were soon thick as thieves. Did some shows to (more) wide-eyed audiences, usually opening for his roommate's solo industrial outfit called (har har), "Teknotica Slut". Um... dates escape me. Locations? Free St Taverna & Genos, Portland, ME sometime in the spring and summer of 1997
"All American Noise Tour" solo Sturgeon, by default, ended up in a van with Emil Beaulieau, The Haters, Skincrime, and Angst Hase Pfeffer Nase (aka Cooper) (aka Django Reinhardt III). And so off this Dodge rambled, doing it up at spaces, galleries, cigarette filled holes, & vomity clubs in Providence, Philadelphia, NYC, Pittsburg, Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Richmond, Frederick, and Chapel Hill... with highlights such as the Bass Assassin duet (bass as in the fish) (duet as in RRRon in disguise), acting as GX Jupiter Larsen's extra stagehand Hater every night, visiting Sturgeon, PA (double whoo, I tell ya!) and even playing before my bubba brother down there in North Carolina. 08.97
"... say no more" Crank became an ordained minister. 10.31.97
"Huso Zygote" solo performance... where were you for a detour with singing and video projected on-top-of nudity-table danzig, speaker bzzzt, microphonic lozenge gulp & water bottle? "My baby huso, my baby..." (POSTSCRIPT: 2007. I had just started a new job. A coworker introduced herself, telling me that I looked familiar. Out it came: SHE WAS THERE!) Tufts University, Somerville, MA 11.22.97

"A lot of cops for a little city/10 One Acts" a solo Crankensauce, opening up for Lucas Abela & Deerhoof. Then, topping this oddity (read, cigarette filled hole) the pile of us almost got arrested for tossing a snowball at an unmarked cop car (it's on video, I assure you). Our pal & Cooper's roommate, Gaylord, got frisked, hee hee. Geno's, Portland, ME 01.15.98
"Clog vs Crank" By this point the Anti-Friend Hut name began to stick. And we were all about the sticks. Again relegated to opening up for some punk bands, the show was mostly just an amplified fight, ending with the now-famous tragic death scene. Free St. Taverna 01.24.98
"Voice of the Beehive" A group art-show w/ Clog & Crank that begat the idea of plotting Hut happenings on the sidewalk... I tell ya, the whole thing changes when you're outside doing this stuff... it spawns an entirely different kind of spore & seed; inspiring further mischief. Pleasant Street Collective, Portland, ME 04.98
"WZBC Benefit" and so, the burgeoning solo urges onward, with manfish magic guitar and RRRon missed his slot, so it became an ode to Emil Beaulieau. A few guys there weren't very nice, but that's Boston for you. The Middle East, Cambridge, MA 04.25.98
"Requiem for the Beehive" The highlight of these sidewalk events! Bidding fond adieu to their exhibit, this performance featured the unforgettable introduction of Gaylord Pasternak. Wearing a far-too-large metal funnel w/ a cymbal affixed, our new surly third proceeded to toss burning LP's into the street while Clog & Crank swatted, cuffed, and swore alot with black plastic pope suits. Pleasant St Collective, Portland, ME, 05.02.98
"Death to You" Furthering procedures in death sequences, Anti-Friend Hut did it again, armed w/ giant Q-tip battle sticks, murmuring "death to you" over and over again, while Gaylord became plugged & unplugged. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 07.11.98
"The Wedding of RRRon and Maria", Ministerial requests lent to this performance wedding, that is to say, what else d'ya have when you marry a noise gal? A primal first for Crank & Gaylord, who starred, charmed, and woo'ed as the Alterboy. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 07.25.98
"Friend Bot" A nine minute malestrom: Clog & Crank's aluminum foil robot son (Friendbot) gets killed to reveal a little tv set where his tum was. On the little tv played a video of male genitalia. Amidst the yelling "you killed my son!" there was the interplay of, "at least he still has balls!". Clog then took down the entire table-of-gear in this tragic death scene. The Free Street Taverna 09.04.98
"Motorloo" a very troubling interaction between Crank & Gaylord. The Space, Worcester, MA 09.05.98
"Motorloo Dos" an even more troubling interaction between Crank & Gaylord. Starting out as a discussion about proper land-planning & environmental issues facing urban sprawl, an itch for buggering Gaylord with an extensional ventilation hose became, well, as they say on tv, "actualized". The Middle East, Cambridge, MA 09.06.98
"���������?�� 凉爆���?�兴�݊���!!!" duet w/ Chris Cooper resulting in near electrocution as a guitar string broke and landed IN the power strip, The Red Barn, Ayer, MA 09.98
"MRMF Music Festival" The answering machine was RRRon going, "ya wanna play Saint Loo-ey?" So the lot of us N'easter's (Emil Beauliaeu, Skincrime, & Zipper Spy) had an all-expenses paid trip out to join up with the Haters and John Sharp to do our noises at this Budweiser sponsored, black limousine chauffeured, indy-rocker event; still to this day, the weirdest one yet. I still wear my "MRMF" name badge with pride. Ah you know. St.Louis, Missouri, 10.08.98
"Commode Minstrels in Bullface" the East Coast version of said ensemble was headed up by Chris Cooper and a buncha' us Portlanders. Played The Knitting Factory, NYC, opening up for Caroliner. Gaylord and Crank dueted earlier that day at one of Cock ESP's first Phi Phenomena gigs (5 minute shows for each group). Both events were good, though I think some soap operas ensued, as well as a rash of hateful web blogs. Friends. 10.20.98
"All Hallow's Hut" A good solid trinity! Anti-Friend Hut (decked in red obelisks), proceeded to incorporate hotdogs, stalled traffic, and dogs in the street eating the hotdogs. Gaylord went gloriously berserk. Later he & Crank hasseled some death metal bands, and there was something about sleeping w/ the wrong girl. The Pleasant Street Collective, Portland, ME 10.31.98
"Benefit for the Filmmaker's Co-op" a solo manfish in tight white pants (shoulda' gone buff), CBGB Gallery, NYC, NY 11.12.98
"Que que que" ah yes, and an almost missed duet w/ Gaylord, Smithwicks, Lowell, MA 11.15.98
"WMPG Benefit" Anti-Friend Hut at their finest: gonging away, amplifying tricyles, wrapping up Gaylord in either a sleeping bag or burlap (can't remember which) only to get insulted by a dipshit local radio DJ. Zootz, Portland, ME 11.19.98
"Down with People" Anti-Friend Hut, a co-curational Clog & Crank event/installation. Quite a big fckn' A show featuring lotsa out-of-towners and good art. The masterpiece (to end all) occured during the Hut sidewalk introduction. While doing battle (wearing cardboard battleships; it being Pearl Harbor Day afterall), the wee-bit coked-up Gaylord got on the roof, and proceeded to flail old costumes (on strings, like a puppetmaster) over the audience and THEN hose everyone with a fire extinguisher. If this were not enough, he then tossed the empty metal container into the audience below, hitting our camera-guy in the leg on the second bounce. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 12.09.98 (no deaths, Gaylord was fired)

"Wire-head Gametot" Reading hateful prose by Richard Huelsenbeck, Crank decided to do an ultimate double-headed & pyramided nudey butt strip tease and mouth to prick inhale/exhale consortium candidate for future scarring & libidinous scathes. One word: whoa! The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 01.16.99
"Portable Man-Boy Lyceum" invited to partake in the "Love Machine" group show... Clog and Crank lost their original Valentine's Day couple to-be-married (RRRon and Maria were a no show). A miracle happened when a drunk Gaylord (wearing a tv set on his head) walked through the door... newly rehired, he ended up being wed to one William Goat, a man who made his appearance in an aluminum double dong thong, and well... the rest is history. Geddit? His Story. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 02.13.99
"Big Dumb Family Sci-Fi" aka "Fat Kid Camp" Crank and Gaylord proceeded to unclothe and redon fabrics of their childhood: Gaylord in a black-box & pantyhose that camp counselors insisted he wear, Crank w/ a tube-assembly penis-pi�ata, reminiscent of being an exchange student in Central America. The Fine Arts, Portland, ME 03.07.99
"The Impolite Lecturer (Phossy Gloat Bad Triangle Anthropomorph)" A sleep deprived thank you Lowell (I love Roger Miller). VOIX, Lowell, MA 03.27.99
"Book Fuck Larceny" Anti-Friend Hut threesome at their grandiestness: girl-angst, air freshener, Nazi baby pi�atas (a theme here), and that Simon & Garfunkel tune that sings about lies lies lies. The Free Street Taverna, Portland, ME 05.23.99
"Anti-art Auction" Our three heroes once again sidewalking it via a guerilla performance at an art opening. As it was a nice warm day, the ceremonial death sequences were replaced with stacks of free-art, to be given away. Memory notes that a nicely dressed middle-aged lady demanded a picture entitled, "Frig". 3 Fish Gallery, Portland, ME 06.25.99
"Performance for thee man-hug worms" For a zine release poetry slam, Anti-friend Hut showed up in bubble-wrap costumes and made more than one of the poets leave or put their heads in their hands in great great Homerian dismay, Oak Street Theatre, Portland, ME 07.07.99
"Anti-Friend Hut 'Lympics" Sidewalk stunts of strength and virtue! Long jumps, races (w/ cinderblocks affixed to ankles), and just bouncing up and down on a door (covered in bed springs). Local 188, Portland, ME 07.10.99
"put yer pants on..." Asked to crash an evening of snooty free-jazz (in slaughter house turned art venue), Crank and Gaylord arrived with aforementioned door (coated in springs) to deliver ample bad poetry with titles like, "Lovers on the Volga", etc. Gaylord then proceded to hang upside down where the beef corspes were drained, while Crank did a nude impromtu ballet w/ a man in a deep-sea diver's helmet known as, Empire S.N.A.F.U., VOIX, Lowell, MA 08.99
"God's Bright Engine" Group show! Noise sculptures! Performances! Local 188, Portland, ME 09.99
"Performance for the Bungler of Taxidermies 2" providing services for Southernman's last hurrah... The Vestibule, South Boston, MA 10.01.99
"The Sacred and Prophane" Anti-Friend Hut performance full-tilt. Dude, Y2K. A guillotine beheading ceremony: if the head didn't come off, shoot it w/ a revolver. Then toss the corpse into a fire routine (as seen on tv!). This inspired two guys to rush the show and attempt to toss Crank into the bonfire while yelling "Annihilate the Nihilist!", Peaks Island, ME 10.30.99
"Intro the Baby Gay(lord) Nude Year" Still hyped-up by the Y2K infection, Gaylord & Crank performed into the new year... wearing diapers (well?) and such, um... it was at Gaylord's house, back when he lived by Denny's. Portland, ME 12.31.99

"Rnstwidtuj" a none too shabby four way improvisation with Id m Theft Able, Shea Mowatt & Adam Shutzman. Unity Church, Windham, ME 01.00
"Bigot" Clog und Crank, confounded for titles for this duel, came up w/ the next (worst) spin. BINGO night w/ Chicky Stolz thus became BIGOT, except you had to slur the "G" like a Frenchman. The Free Street Taverna, Portland, ME 02.06.00
"When You Are a Man" Anti-Friend Hut Award Ceremony. The threesome were into awards and badges. Gaylord erected a pup-tent in the middle of the venue and made noises inside, occasionally tossing out "cummy socks". He then burst out, wearing just a camouflage U.S. Army t-shirt. Crank was also near-nude. Clog was in testicle-head mode. Someone thought we were pushing some "gay thing" as our theme. VOIX, Lowell, MA 02.12.00
"Toddler Jean Revolt" Anti-Friend Hut ensemble cast featuring Id m Theft Able as the town crier and Southernman as Ape'raham Lincoln. Rhinolady kept screaming "pants" while tossing bags of clothes (meant for Goodwill) on us. Ape-raham (wearing an Osh Kosh B'Gosh pair of overalls as a beard), then delivered the "E-pants-ipation Proclamation" and liberated everyone except the hipsters at the bar. The Skinny, Portland, ME 04.03.00
"Cinco de Mayo" Sans Clog (even though it was his birthday), this again-pi�ata flavored show w/ Gaylord Pasternak, resulted in something again-dire, as his nibs spun outa control with an LP-mounted sander, sending shards of high velocity vinyl everywhere. VOIX, Lowell, MA (again, no deaths, and Gaylord was given the pink slip) 05.05.00
"Blit Frig" solo performance, the best solo of all time performance, 3 Fish Gallery, Portland, ME 07.10.00 "Ruse of the Archaeopteryx, ie., Pict/Hun" solo performance and interactive lecture and plastic cowboy/indian toss. Local 188, Portland, ME 07.31.00
"Building a better democracy with Rene Descartes" sneaky duo w/ Id m Theft Able during perplexed DIY show. The Eagle Lodge, Westbrook, ME 08.09.00
"Fantc�k!" What better, for the most beautiful October day in the history of the world? Gaylord is rehired and attired in hunter's khaki. Clog & Crank made trunk-costumes. So what'll it be? An elephant hunt, starring the entire Sacred & Profane Festival parade, with ensemble casts and cronies like Id m Theft Able, the Mystic Out-bop Review, Shea D. Mowat, and il maestro: Toyotafant. Peaks Island, ME 10.14.00
"The Temple of the East Bulgarian Inflatable Limbaugh Derider" a solo interactive singalong w/ punk rock kids, sweating it out to a John Denver tune, ie., Crank's first ever mosh pit. Presumpscot Grange, Portland, ME 10.23.00
"Of Poops and Kings" An untelevised bonzai and thrusty Hestonlike narrative w/ Crank, Clog (wearing a stuffed polar bear for a helmet) with them there Mystic Out-bop Review, all decked very regallike. Don Ho is now our Che Gueverra. Local 188, Portland, ME 12.17.00

"The Temple of the East Bulgarian... aka: Touch the Fuzzy" a solo furrychesturgeon, w/ a pelt that revealed mantras and a bad case of crabs. But he's no Canadian! Sugarshack, Lowell, MA 01.05.01
"Pariah on a Stick" And a' once more: Clog and Crank and more mischief w/ Mystic Out-bop Review... this time w/ cardboard ziggurats, projections, and more audience members than just the faithful girlfriends. The (original) Zeitgeist, Cambridge, MA 01.26.01
"Anti-Friend Hut Presidential Fitness Award" More with the awards, this time in the guise of cottage cheese thighs, Dolph Lungren/George Bush anecdotes, audience Q & A's involving winter weight gain, Gaylord pedaling madly on an amplified exercise bike (mounted w/ an LP on the wheel), and nevermind the ensuing snowball fight (instigated by our buddy, RRRon). Local 188, Portland, ME 03.11.01
"The Burning Baby" not entirely a Hut ensemble, but indeed something disturbing (the otherwise peacefulness of the Maine woods). Featuring a bonfire and a 14' flammable infant, horns, urgency, and gars... W. Scarborough, ME 05.19.01
"Call of the Wild Tour" w/ Emil Beaulieau & Walter Wright/Due Process. A wee minitour out to the flat & mesmerizing midwest, doing shows under a cannabis cloud w/ Concrete at... Arco Iris, Grand Rapids, MI 06.08.01
University of South Bend, IN (whereby the audience proceeded to annoint RRRon with diatribes about Christianity & "this music being responsible for Columbine") 06.09.01
...followed by a perfectly peaceful drive up to Sturgeon Bay, WI, to discover that the town was covered in fiberglass sturgeon!!!!! The ensuing Chicago show was booked by an idiot (it didn't happen).
"Anti-BBQ-Hut" well? For our day of independence, Clog, Crank, & Gaylord, wearing lil' aprons, schmashed it up at some DIY Hardcore band/grange hall show in Westbrook, ME 07.03.01
"... is there a lawnmower repairman out there?" Less into awards, and more about mustard, the Anti-Friendlies decided to conduct an anti-art show involving a dysfunctional lawnmower, some fine suitcase costumes, plenty of food (hotdogs, etc, etc), Id m Theft Able as the "Wizard of Space & Time", and yet more traffic problems. Filmmaker Hans Michaud later showed his epic film, "TANK". Very touching. Local 188, Portland, ME 07.22.01
"duh marriage of Slyther" triad w/ Southernman, Crank, & Gaylord. Mininsterial callings drove this crew out to Buffalo. Little did we know there was a real wedding component involved. So we bought bad suits and spent most of the hot summer day laughing & drinking Labatt's. Fast forward to showtime: Gaylord decided it was a good time to take mushrooms so he could then run away during the middle of the performance. And then there was something involving a two-person elephant costume for the bride & groom to wear and Gaylord's substitute (a blow-up doll), but by that time it was 5 am, and no one really cared all too much. Ah well. Lessons unlearned. The Continental, Buffalo, NY 08.12.01
"Times being what they are" weird shit happens, I kid you not. One of the first Crank attempts at narratives featuring dirigibles... this one (oddly enough) using two inflatable towers that would rise and fall, Unity Church, Windham, ME 08.19.01
"Performance for the Box Creature Sarcophagii" Clog, Crank, & Gaylord built coffins for themselves. Historically, the timing was appropriate. The Sacred & Profane Festival, Peaks Island, ME 09.22.01
"Anti-sans-the-'lord" Crank & Clog, minus Gaylord, donned a huge canoe box ziggurat'ish two-person costume, traded epithets, gargled goldschlager, and managed to earn our $20 worth. Sydney's, Lawrence, MA 10.20.01
"Ten by Ten", a wee improv blast with RRRon for his Due Process "plus one" show. Berwick Institute, Roxbury, MA 12.08.01
"Steps in a Nude Direction" Clog, carboard robot turned actionpainter, painted and painted and painted to Crank's rambles about wearing one boot. A good shrieky deeky and apparently enough cheer that a few people had to leave.... Mobius, Boston, MA 12.13.01
"Merry something or other..." The full Hut trio plus a theremin player (named TV Head) made beautiful sounds and even tossed gifts into a less-than Christmas cheerful audience, St. Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 12.22.01
"Umla�t Christmas Protest Uterus" So the next day, Crank & Clog made for Boston to try a similar debacle. What came of it was a refresher course in good ol' Boston-hurling's: flying Xmas presents, fake snow, a Clog concertina-solo, and fearing retribution from a lesbian theatre troupe (also on the bill that night). O'Briens, Allston, MA 12.23.01
"The year of our Palindrome" Ahhh but you know. The holy trinity, mincing homonyms and palindromes on toilet paper (2002: poop is dood), bid welcome the new year, waving swords and such, even a shooting or two, but again... what's with the listless audience? Hmmm. Free St. Taverna, Portland 12.31.01

"Mask Ernst vs. Cardboard Audience" Redemption. Total fckn' madness one Saturday night. A drunken mob scene, middle finger responses, heavenly ziggurat destructions, fishing reels, extensional tube arms, everything is airborne, vive le Labatt's... Clog & Crank take on the night's evildoers, whilst Gaylord swatted naysayers with a snowshovel. The Skinny, Portland, ME, 02.23.02
"Improvisation w/ filmmaker Hans Michaud", a noise-as-noise set for a multiple film projection collage. Collective Unconscious, Robert Beck Memorial Cinema, NYC, NY, 04.23.02
"Crank vs. Clog" Hootenanny! Rhinolady had it in her abilties to make us capes to embody our super powers! Our fiendish plot then involved bunny shaving, caviartin panties, & Clog perpetually tripping over his cape. The Berwick Institute, Roxbury, MA, 05.04.02
"Festival of the Burning Bed" another show in the woods, gloriously in flames, W.Scarborough, ME 06.02
"Record Rub and Play" Anti-Friend Hut in its threesome glee, operating as the (aka) Pro-Chum Yurt. Crank had allergy problems but nevertheless proceeded with a turntable demonstration, alluding to stapling said vinyls to Clog's costume, Gaylord's guitar & skating remaining LP's across the sidewalk, only to then repackage the remains and offer to the audience as our latest "release". Clog then upped & died, Gaylord likewise, and w/ audience help, the cardboard robot was dragged out to a traffic island and left to the crows to pick at. Local 188, Portland, ME 06.03.02
"Pop Series" solo portable endeavor w/ tupperware guitar, bubblewrap helmet, handstamps, and trying to play as many shows as possible w/ the same act, beginning at the Eighth Annual Olympia Experimental Music Festival, Olympia, WA (which was a good show) 06.29.02
"Pop!" Unity Church, Windham, ME (which was a bad show) 07.07.02
"Pop!" RRRecords, Lowell, MA (which was a good show) 07.09.O2
"Pop!" Swedeborgian Church, Portland, ME (which was a bad show) 07.13.02
"Anti-Pant-Hut" an unconscionable duet w/ Gaylord. Wandering out to the stage naked, the twosome proceeding to tape each other butt to butt and wrap-up in giant tigerstriped undies to the tune of amplified hand saws and a loop stating, "I know two gentlemen who in five months made five million dollars advertising products on tv..." Result? Dire. With the amplified saws, many an old magazine & record met their maker! One keepsake was a Pat Boone LP: one side covered in nasty serrations, the other with dried bloodied fingerprints. Huzzah! St.Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 8.22.02
"Crank's 10th year/Cock ESP's 100th Show" CrankenGaylord: called down to the big freakin' Apple to be up to their ankles again with more taped butts, tropical Polynesian grandma jammies, plenty o' birthday cake. Gaylord said "No" a buncha' times, but with coaxing and pizza, didn't run away. Pyramid Club, NYC, NY, 09.07.02
"Cranken Theftable" duet w/ Id m Theft Able, the yellow and purple nearly ended that night on the ride home. God Blast America Festival, AS220, Providence, RI, 09.22.02
"Cirque de Poulet, Islam of no Manhugs" Anti-friend's cloud suit treatment in the far reaches. Under whirl windies & October rains, scours sent us northerly to Frankfort, ME, for a festival held in an ancient creaky chicken barn. The power went out, and Jay later tossed out our cloud costumes that we'd planned on reusing. 10.19.02
"Unacceptable Sturgeon" a solo teetery noise stretch with the brand nude hinge-guitar and enforced audience mantra (in order to recieve the free cassette). Zeitgeist Gallery, Cambridge, MA. 10.23.02
"Purple yellow hobby horse" An out of the blue phone call requiring "anti-friends", problem was Clog was off somewhere, and I think Gaylord said "No". So, ol' yellow beard, Id m Theft Able & Crank hupped the bob for apples to the sound of casio bleets and trombone blub... an Anti-Friend? Why not. Geno's, Portland, ME, 11.09.02
"Bop Ants and Crog und Clank" A buzzy misdemeanor of a duel on our part. Clog and Crank ended up offering the audience slugs of Goldschlager and then proceeded to settle down in front of a tv that once held Friendbot's genitals. Ah well. Local 188, Portland, ME. 11.17.02
"Reaping the cone mother's milk" An informational transgression w/ Clog & Crank, featuring a discussion with projections depicting pictures of underwear, France, and Armenian mothercultures. This proceeded into a demonstration about sipping mayonnaise... which is afterall, the cone-mother's milk, right? Funny thing about condiments, if you want to clear a path, simply offer this up to a punk-kiddie audience. It's like parting the vegan Red Sea! SPACE, Portland, ME, 11.22.02
"Manfish hilarity solo" Asked to be on the radio, Crank beat up or off an acoustic guitar, and then was asked deep questions about where he saw himself at the age of 40, WJUL FM, Lowell, MA, 11.30.02
"Crank as Emil, Beaulieau as Sturgeon" sneakery sleuths and the loudest sound system yet, Emil & Crank traded acts! Hell Lab 3, NYC, NY, 12.03.02

"Anti-Friend Hut wimps out repeatedly" Somehow the dice had it that this would signify a hibernation period for the Hut as a trinity. A lotta shit was thrown, all kinda ended there. The Skinny, Portland, ME 01.19.03
"Homage to the Floridian Man (fish)" And so, solo sturgeon, w/ Ace Hardware bag as loin cloth, decided to go on his "spoken word thing". Meanwhile Rhinolady armed the audience (to beam Crank in the head), and the results were... Stillhouse Studio Theatre, Portland, ME, 03.09.03
"Art for Art's Hake" And there you have it. Crank, long longing to play across Europa, set snout to the task, all during the onset of the WAR. Featuring cohorts such as Tote Stadt, Piediepie, Dead Husbands, The Nautilus Deconstruction, Man Manly, Ventolin Orchestra, TBTTBC, Marks Spencer, Susipank, and piles of others... check out the published article through www.portlandphoenix.com (June 6, 03 archive).
de Hondenkoekjesfabriek, Nieuwleusen, Holland 04.05.03
de Kloemp, Bunsbeek, Belgium 04.06.03
het Poortgebouw, Rotterdam, Holland 04.10.03
OCCI, Amsterdam, Holland 04.11.03
Extrapool, Nijmegen, Holland 04.12.03
Zoro, Leipzig, Germany, 04.24.03
Izbruhov Kulturni Bazen, Kranj, Slovenija 04.26.03
Akumulator (brief duet w/ drunken local on soup pot), Domzale, Slovenija, 04.28.03
Club Gromki, Ljubljana, Slovenija 04.30.03
Egocity, Zurich, Switzerland 05.04.03
La Cueva No-Art Gallery (brief duet w/ Man Manly), Milano, Italy 05.07.03
Geluidsoverlast, Antwerpen, Belgium 05.11.03
le Bunker, Brussels, Belgium 05.13.03
Stereophonic, Antwerpen, Belgium 05.14.03
"Seance for Hans: The Hank and Crank Telepathic Show" A weirdie w/ Mystic Out-bop Review, sweating & blurping, the audience clad in paper fish heads, swaying to the summer umbrage, at the Stillhouse Studio Theatre, Portland, ME 07.21.03
"...guest destruction" Continuing w/ Mystic Out-bop Review, Crank snuck into the hotseat as back-up guitar, Local 188, Portland, ME 07.27.03
"The Hank and Crank Show" Otherworldly from across the steppes of Umlautstan, Crank joined with filmmaker Hans Michaud to present an evening of emissaries, gentlemen's dystopia, and fortuitous solutions. Film, fish, blood, and dirigibles. It also acted as suitable wedding roast for some dearest artschool friends. Empty Set Gallery, Pittsfield, MA 08.09.03
Art shows (noise sculptures) at both Stillhouse Studio & Empty Set Gallery too, by the way
"The Milk Will Disappear" The Sturgeon magic show... likewise "spoken word thing", ditto crossing the line with crying about yer dad, snorting black pepper, dueting with a tape recorded voice track, & failing miserably at a very easy disappearing milk trick. Local 188, Portland, ME 08.24.03
"Mantamen Space Aged Pharaohs" Keeping in the tradition of otherworldlies, percussionist Chico (from Mystic Out-bop Review) joined in w/ snake charming and blings and rotisseries. Zeitgeist Gallery, Cambridge, MA 08.31.03
"The story of the loathesome Dirigibillionaire" Fascinated w/ dirigibles still, Crank did a lipidia transformational confessional amplified angry worst-costume-in-the-world, sharing the secrets w/ The Psychic Revolution Tour. SPACE, Portland, ME 09.13.03
"Inflatability fish-men and their secrets: Crank & Id m Theft Able duo/tour/du jour"... taking this inflatable-fish costume and combining with Id m's euphonium/water-plate-voice treatments, several fine travels ensued: featuring near misses with Cock ESP's flying objects, settling on in for grins with U Can Unlearn Guitar, and also rubbing skins with Rotten Piece, 4WAT, Muzak, Occasional Detroit, Costes, Prairie Pusher, The Taliband, Tote Stadt, Next Syphillis, and Mr. Ski Mask
WMBR FM, MIT, Cambridge, MA 10.05.03
The Thirsty Ear, Cambridge, MA 10.05.03
The Providence Civic Center, Providence, RI 10.06.03
The Living Room, Maine College of Art, Portland, ME 10.07.03
Starfoods, New York City, NY 10.08.03
WPRB FM, Princeton University, Princeton, NJ 10.09.03
Tarantula Hill, Baltimore, MD 10.09.03
Mohawk Place, Buffalo, NY 10.10.03
"All Hallow's Eve..." One of those art school dealies: a collaboration w/ one of the world's greatest pop groups, the Ponys (the Time-Lag ones, now revamped as Phantom Buffalo). Gaylord also entered into the picture to receive an operation & proceed to run about nude... the entire night resulting in a swirling orchestra of noise & psych & inflating a giant worm which pooped millions of styrofoam peanuts. Maine College of Art, Portland, ME 10.31.03
"Happy nude year..." and in keeping with the tradition of mucking, Crank again hooked up w/ an end of the world collaboration: mutating, sending radioactive fallout everywhere, and joining in on the orgy w/ the Ponys, SPACE, Portland, ME 12.31.03

"Czesc" A solo Rube Goldberg-combo root veggie-circuit third eye apparati with table-core lecture, and a 12 volt motor strapped to the forehead which would etch drawings from the other side. Psychicthyosaur! Local 188, Portland, ME 02.03.04
"Deadyetiarabsorrydad" solo fischkopf, in the shits of being called "penis-guitar" by Chris Cooper, Crank stuck to this w/ a masturbational lecture, smiley face ventilation hose prick, a little alka seltzer to spit on the audience, & the best guitar in the world. Safari Lounge, Providence, RI 03.13.04
"Ceylon Mange" a sit-in with Bill Nace & Dylan Nyoukis and some bad ass cool duels. O'Brien's, Allston, MA 03.14.04
"Deadyetiagain" more of a hippie tongue twister than Providence... Crank dug out the happy wee-wee and spat up again. Some guy was very concerned & proceeded to wipe up the seltzer-foam during the performance. It stains, you know. Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 03.15.04
"Thinging hith thong..." Mimicing Cindy Brady, Crank solo-toggle switched while RRRon & the audience went in for a crumpled green attack. RRRecords, Lowell, MA 05.07.04
"more shit (flying) at..." Clog showed up with action Hulk fists, redeeming a really stupid evening of laptop techno. Thank the maker! Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 05.08.04
"anti-Anti-friend" somehow a performance turned into an audience Q & A session/lecture with no weird sounds whatsoever! Gaylord showed up & Clog sorta' led the discourse: taking the whole exposure of deep dark secrets into a brilliant collaborative latenight protest (starring the audience) out on the sidewalk, Local 188, Portland, ME 05.09.04
"Gaylord of the Rings" Crank & Gaylord, gearing up for their imminent tour, decided to double-doink the waters down south. It was one a' them noise-dood shows. Eeh, you know. The Spacement, Worcester, MA 05.21.04
"Euro 2" On a mission of minsterial efforts (Eric & Marylise's wedding), we packed the bags for ye Grand ol' Europa. Armed with a rewired guitar pickup, a penis-head ventilation tube, a couplea' collaboration partners, Gaylord Pasternak (in tow) and later, Fritz Welch (PSI), the whole ditty was the thing of dreams; shared with some of the finest of the fine... OVO, Le Comp du Cul, Billy B. Beat, Czapski, Syncopated Elevators Legacy, Norma X'ed Out, T.I.F., Fiber Cast Mold, Tochnit Aleph (an amplified dinner aktion), Vialka, MXBRCKRT, Spermatak, Mayo-Man, Sjab el Kebab, Banaan, Moysk, Lucky Dragons, Parabelles, Avarus, Mauro Antonio Pawslowski,
Af Ursin, Tomutonttu, Kouhei Matsunaga, Dave Phillips, Runzelstirn & Gurglestock, Eric Cordier, and Tore B�e... again, the lurid details can be read at www.portlandphoenix.com (Sept 3-9 04 archive)
Scheld 'Apen, Antwerpen, B. 06.12.04
Squat 111, Louvain la Neuve, B. 06.13.04
Oli's Livingroom (Volume 6) Tienen, B. 06.14.04
(the squat at...) Ghent, B. 06.15.04
CO-9 Squat, Zwolle, NL. 06.16.04
de Garage, Den Haag, NL. 06.17.04
Sociale Dienst Planetart, Enschede, NL. 06.18.04
Die Sibirische Zelle, Berlin, D. 06.19.04
Black Fleck, Potsdam, D. 06.20.04
Tochnit Aleph HQ, Berlin, D. 06.21.04
Boschbar, Z�rich, CH. 06.23.04
Espace Autog�r� des Tanneries, Dijon, France 06.25.04
La Cerise, Paris, France 06.26.04
KiKiKaiKai, Lyon, France 06.28.04
Raymond's Bar, Clermont-Ferrand, France 07.02.04
the wedding of Eric & Marylise, St Jean des Ollieres, France 07.03.04
guest'urgeon on FM Brussels w/ Salami, Brussels, B. 07.05.04
The Student, Brussels, B. 07.05.04
"Yr Kop is oon Lull" (what was to be the final personal penis-tubed psych-show, also w/ Son of Earth & Idea Fire Co), Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.09.04
The "Wicked New England Tour". Riding the perpetual distortion wave, me ol' fish head (and yes, penis tube) joined Emil Beaulieau and Prurient for a westerly flow out to the Pacific and back. So here's the roster... we played with tons and tons of fine fibered folk, from Pengo to Smegma to Irene Moon, with several multi-generational harbingers of skronk and noise and thc laced legacy in between! Additional highlights were visiting fabled sturgeon hatcheries (you can always suss out that fishy visitation element when touring with RRRon), meeting Joe Roemer of Macronympha fame, and umpteen million other things along the way that make for good stories... we also joined up with Pop Culture Rape Victim, Jessica Rylan, and Pedestrian Deposit for a pile of these shows, as well as Sword Heaven and 16 Bitch Pile Up, who happened to be doing the same route. Heh, heh. One big hot damn tamale!
Bug Jar, Rochester, NY 08.24.04
Capsule, Cleveland, OH 08.25.04
BLD, Columbus, OH 08.26.04
Greh's house... (need one say more?), Detroit, MI 08.27.04
Idle Kids, Detroit, MI 08.28.04
Wolf Eyes' practise space/party Ann Arbor, MI 08.29.04
The Empty Bottle, Chicago, IL 08.30.04
Somebody's basement... (tho' indeed memorable!) Milwaukee, WI 08.31.04
Bedlam Studio, Minneapolis, MN 09.01.04
Grafix, Billings, MT 09.03.04
Detour, Spokane, WA 09.05.04
SS. Marie Antoinette, Seattle, WA 09.06.04
The Midnight Sun, Olympia, WA 09.07.04
The Embalming Room, Portland, OR 09.08.04
Somebody's living room... Twin Falls, ID 09.10.04
A big private warehouse... Salt Lake City, UT 09.11.04
Monkey Mania, Denver, CO 09.12.04
Orange Blossom Gallery, Omaha, NE 09.13.04
Apop Records, Columbia, MO 09.14.04
University of Kentucky (on the campus lawn), Lexington, KY 09.15.04
Secret location, heh heh, Pittsburg, PA 09.16.04
And yet another basement... New Paltz, NY 09.17.04
"Yes/NO" coming off this whole exhaustive tour, Clog said "yo check it" and Crank ended up in a little dark room (next to where our Sarcophagi once lay) doing a solo/impromptu horn-tape-vocal marathon. The Sacred & Profane Festival, Peak's Island, ME 09.25.04
"The Olaf Reunion" hahaha! No miserly conducts could hold candles to the golden double trouble w/ Fritz Welch! Aqui the Bushwick, Brooklyn, NY 09.30.04
"Oui oui monsieur" Emil, Crank, and Prurient again reliving their "three sweaty guys" tour, this time in a little Honda, put-puttering the border-collies and such. Casa del Popolo, Montr�al, QC 10.08.04
"Lost on Jean Talon/le Tigre Express" And again, lush procedures at The Electric Tractor, Montr�al, QC 10.09.04
"Steps in a nude direction (part 2)" Crank digs it out for a solo-inflatability ball binder, crustacean squeeze mammalian costume, one more for that yes/no road, & a shared gem w/ tarpigh & OVO... SPACE, Portland, ME 10.18.04
"Tea-pee Ceremoany" water anyone? w/ Id m Theft Able, Strange Maine, Portland, ME 10.31.04
"Auld Lang Syne" Called in to toast one more blasted year the connect-a-dick celebration united Gaylord's head to Crank's crotch, with a thousand sparkles and a leafblower... Happy New Year! SPACE, Portland, ME 12.31.04

"Our Product" solo projector/powerpoint lecture/meatgrinder/dog biscuits/omnichord/bbgun/& no flame retardant. Local 188, Portland, ME 02.20.04
"Synectors Sound Concert" A composition by Kit Demos (of Mystic Out-Bop Review) featuring an ensemble cast with Id m Theft Able (vocals), Crank Sturgeon (guitar), Chico Valentine (drums), Sean Lent (saxophone), George Weatherbe (trumpet), David Noyes (trombone), Alonzo Holliday (saxophone), Scott Bates (drums), Kit Demos (bass), and Alleric Nez (violin). Local 188, Portland, ME 03.20.05
"A bad case of crankcase" solo sturg' singalong w/ a suitcase-clapper-monster concoction and a "he can ACTUALLY play that thing" wicked-bad guitar tuning session, including the Denver-anthem from back along about Black Sea Mamas. Again with the Oedipus? Heh. Okie Street, Providence, RI 03.25.05
"Con Doe Lisa" The Hut family reunites for an art-show retrospective (ie., a best-of nonworks) featuring all the yells of testicle-head, mildewy Clog suits, Gaylord's fetish piles, ample video loops, talking suitcases, phallic collages, turntable excerise bicycles, ephemera, and yes'm, even a little bit of love. The show capitalized on a transgression outside: erecting a cardboard "Art Condo" (the bane of civilization) to be sold to someone we can be sure, the performance highlighted its attributes and eventually durability, as Clog & Gaylord lept from the roof into the condo. Id M Theft Able & Southernman acted as cop/religious fanatic with all the decorum of irony, as the REAL cops finally showed up to shut us down... Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 04.01.05
"Tea-pee Twice" the Id M Theft Able duet enlarged: w/ amplified globes, lip syncs, flamenco trills, face plants in water pans, mu-mu's, hammering candles (a REALLY bad idea!), & climaxing in a singalong w/ the audience & Cerberus Shoal. SPACE, Portland, ME 04.08.05
"Tree-total-malarm" Adding a third iron-on, Id m, Crank, & saxophonist, Sean Lent, do multiple sitdown tooth-filling tingles. Seppuku is born. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.14.05
"Mouth of port" Solo fishsauce trundles to nude hampshires, a bleeping librarian & his illiteracy test! Muddyriver Smokehouse, Portsmouth, NH 04.24.05
"May Day" Two hardest audiences ever: adult anarchist vegan types & their nine year old boys. Crank inflated the latest in a series of neverolutions, one 12' beady-eyed monster, begging all to feed it pieces of small flightless bird. Very political! Where? The Howe 2 House, Lewiston, ME 05.01.05
"983 Miles" more w/ his inflatable mate, Crank off'ed to join Gastric Female Reflex & Fat Worm of Error. Very Political! Flywheel, Easthampton, MA 05.05.05
"Oui, madame, une poisson" Dirigible derisions continue over the border... Wapstan referred to the show as being "very prog". Aaah freedom! Very VERY political! The Electric Tractor, Montr�al, QC 05.07.05
"Duo Seppukku" Sax-Sean & Guitarcrank made one hundred 15 second blaats! Local 188, Portland ME 05.15.05
"Deride, Deridge, & Dirigible" a solo narration about oxygen supplies: ridding the ego/id debate w/ circle breathing techniques, dual voice nojz, & audience air-duct additions (feat. an inflatable avatar costumbrage). Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 05.27.05
"Cocaine/She don't lie" defeated by the heat, Crank shaved hair-free spots, told the audience they were "begging for it", did some work on a butterfly, and then a pinch of blow (w/baking soda & vinegar). Strange Maine, Portland, ME 06.10.05
"Neptune Can't Crank" Oh goodness! Loading up our metal chunks, homemade plug boxes, flamenco songs, and dirigible huso-creatures, this a' one was a bitty three way massage... touring our tucked and tumble nor'easterly traffic jammed region with stops at:
SPACE, Portland, ME 07.07.05
Okie Street, Providence, RI 07.08.05
Pan Nein, Boston, MA 07.09.05
"This fucking sucks!" Gettin' down w/ the giant paper-tipi-gdansk, Crank tried in vain to do a movement art showcase for a basement full of noisers... and no one was buying it! Portsmouth, NH 07.29.05
"Dye Anno Sore Us/Mutual fund appraisal" Gettin' up w/the art lectum in paper country, Frantasialand, ME 08.27.05
"My Two Dadas" Gettin' blown up w/ Id m Theft Able & Daughter, Time Lag Fest, St. Lawrence Church, Portland, ME 08.30.05
"Day of Labor/Doing some banking" Trashsuit number twelve... flashlight wars, swazticks, & feminine products (!) Strange Maine, Portland, ME 09.05.05
"Testimony on why I moved outa' Boston" Say no more. Great Scott, Allston, MA 09.20.05
"Gdansk along a dance of pills" Crank delivers truisms of love about Lowell. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 09.23.05
"An unspoken angst (hase, pfeffer, nase)" As Hitler, Crank declares war by annexing his bloomers. Local 188, Portland, ME 09.25.05
"In your eyes" Newly liberated w/ snappin' workpants, Peter Gabriel was all the rage... Strange Maine, Portland, ME 10.05.05
"Seppuku Duo 1" Crank & Lent double-dangle the exhaust fume mentraal! Ubu Studio, Portland, ME 10.29.05
"Seppuku Duo 2" Crank & Lent hubble-bangle the ex-host flume dental! Local 188, Portland, ME 11.06.05
"Bad chat pineal" in a sweaty tyvec suit, Crank sums up stereo thoughts w/ piezo demons. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.03.05
"Foam poem mit dansk ov pee-yulls" dueling Id m Theft Able & Crank discuss new geoforms in ancient architecture, a must for pants! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.17.05
"Seppuku Tres y Cinco" Sean, Alonzo, Id m, Chico, & Crank whup-up the fancy for a evening of sleet and man-chested improv. You missed it? Go figure! Acoustic Coffee, Portland, ME 12.23.05

"Acute Zonal Occult Outer" Crank & Clog exhale a bit in honor of our good manfriend, Fritz Welch. Objects were lobbed. Children squealed with delight. Eyeballs were gifted, and pills were spilled! The Drawing Room, NYC, NY 01.06.06
"I'll get sued one day..." Crank hits a dood by accident w/ very large head gear; unable to apologize cos the show's being translated in pentacostal cuneiform. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 01.14.06
"Catheters & Colors" El Vaquero Solitario (con mucho, MUCHO Huso) returns! Xtra big eyes, steady guitar riffs, bad jokes, & pee! Chutney Flatts, Portsmouth, NH 01.21.06
"Poems from the Ass" Crank and Phantom Buffalo duke, floop, dupe, and fling for the WORKNOT! SPACE, Portland, ME 02.03.06
"Ummm..." there was a troublesome little lecture in there with ol' Id m Theft Able at Strange Maine... forget the number. Can't recall... didn't write it down, dammit... late Feb.06
"... more in the cradle of life" Crank/Id m duel/drool at the Third Life Studio, Somerville, MA 03.03.06
"Crankslub" Crank's amplified up-close video spit bubbles & broken bulbs equate to reasons to take a break. SPACE, Portland, ME 03.17.06
"ADAD" And yet, there's something to be said about volume... you can do no wrong. Crank does another swinging light/video cam projection spit-up, moaning "All Ill", crying about his nongenderspecific father, sheriffs, and Richie Sambora. A trough of joy begat! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 04.01.06
"Microbursts/Manysweats" We hopped on the death petrol and did a mini tour thru Candyland. Strapped on the head-tin, penis-kabob, learned "Nejimaki Chouzame", and set sights for southerly flows with Peeinmyfacewithsurgery, Id m Theft Able, Supernatural Hot Rug & Not Used, Kelly Nesbitt, and many other horny uncles. Later taking this into an athletic break-gdansk into Canada with girl-power-duo, Gastric Female Reflex. Here's the lowdown:
Workspace at 91 Meserole, Brooklyn, NY 05.18.06
Gallery Inzane, Providence, RI 05.19.06
Nom d' Artiste, Boston, MA 05.20.06
Chutney Flats, Portsmouth, NH 05.21.06
Jeff the Pigeon, Allentown, PA 05.27.06
The Bank, Baltimore, MD 05.28.06
A basement in New Brunswick, NJ 05.29.06
The Red Door, Portsmouth, NH 05.30.06
Suoni Per il Popolo Festival, La Sala Rossa, Montreal, QC 06.17.06
Wavelength Festival, Sneaky Dee's, Toronto, ON 06.18.06
Neutral, Toronto, ON 06.19.06
"Harpsie Sound" an incredulous pairing w/ another Feb-Ten'r, Shea D. Mowat; involving a sinking barge, dissolving paper costume, maroon bedsheet, gashed ankle, unpumpable sea water, lost trumpet, and later, yep, the gasoline! Stover's Point, Harpswell, ME 07.15.06
"Something something Emoticon/Perennial Sausage Party European Tour..." with Gastric Female Reflex, Monopolka, and Eric Boros. Shunning all the secrets of men, we hoppped the puddle and did the bible dance for twenty odd zealots and their moms. Kudos to all that helped (name drops aside); if you've read this far then you must know (by now!), heh heh:
Little Devil, Tilburg, Netherlands 08.04.06
de Hondenkoekjesfabriek, Nieuwleusen, Netherlands 08.05.06
Gazoil Organ, Tongeren, Belgium 08.06.06
de Livingroom, Tienen, Belgium 08.07.06
de Garage, den Haag, Netherlands 08.08.06
Atelier Mommens, Brussels, Belgium 08.09.06
HOUSE PARTY, Lille, France 08.11.06
Radio Centraal performance w/ GFR Antwerp, Belgium 08.12.06
Death Petrol Festival, Antwerp, Belgium 08.12.06
Prince Albert, Brighton, UK 08.13.06
Fenton, Leeds, UK 08.15.06
Junction Club, Bristol, UK 08.16.06
Home Entertainment, Offenbach, Germany 08.18.06
Adolf666/Alte Buchbinderei, Berlin, Germany 08.19.06
MS Weltfrieden, Leipzig, Germany 08.20.06
Spektakel 14, Copenhagen, Denmark 08.21.06
Aurora, Warsaw, Poland 08.23.06
Imbir Club, Krakow, Poland 08.24.06
Sub Club/Ears Chewing Satisfunction Event, Bratislava, Slovakia 08.26.06
Crossclub, Prague, Czech Republic 08.27.06
Dessert Cafe, Brno, Czech Republic 08.28.06
MKC Koperz, Koper, Slovenia 09.01.06
Menza pri koritu, Ljubljana, Slovenia 09.02.06
Oficina di Buenaventura, Castelfranco veneto, Italy 09.03.06
Sonic, Lyon, France 09.04.06
Freaks End Future, Antwerp, Belgium 09.05.06
Radio Centraal performance w/ Andy Bolus Antwerp, Belgium 09.06.06
"just BLOW" flapping with his freedom song, the crowd joined Crank for a plastic wrap session and eventual loo-wander; group hugs and family! SPACE, Portland, ME 10.03.06
"The Sacred and Profane" returning to zen, Crank (as Ubu, king of Poland), Kit (as a non-pedophile green robot), and a wine-spilling French waiter named Pierre Shutzman, roasted and toasted a parade with celibacy, bourbon, and well, yes, HUSO the dirigible. When the petrol ran out, the trio did mouth farts in the cave. And drank the rest of the bourbon. Where were you? Peaks Island, 10.07.06
"All Hallow's Eve..." for kicks we do this every year: trundle to Portland and take part in the Showstring Theatre Halloween parade thru the West End. This year Vialka was in town, so we made a sturgeon trio. You can probably still hear Marylise laughing in the residual ether, heheh. 10.31.06
"Bologna Blow" Sputtering and jizzing and watching people leave en masse, Crank gave a luncheon meat CD to those remaining survivors. Monastery Artists Collective, Manchester, NH 11.10.06
"No leavin'" Learning from the night before, bags of leaves were incorporated into the show to imply a subtle materialist metaphor. Then the audience blew plastic while Crank ate a bag of cocaine and excitedly globbed cummy-cums all over the autumn extravaganza. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 11.11.06
"Our Hot Date with Kathy" Id and Crank meet Kathy, an apparent Italian porn star. After trying to impregnate one another, it was then decided that a plastic lady would have better results. Milk was exchanged for a little while and then mothers were resented. Then a fort was built, and finally, a much needed Russian translation and balalaika concert ensued. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.26.06

"Pineal unpluggered-which-witchie-switch" Heh. Another blown fuse = another Crank unplugged and blow-session; and who knew that therein lay old devilry from the college-days to act as beacon stabilizer and emotion conduit! These shows, they become almost human sometimes! Feed Your Head, Salem, MA 01.13.07
"(sar)-Casco (gay) Cabernet" Joining Mystic Out-Bop Review, Crank & Id m Theft Able portrayed portals into their closet virginity clauses, revealing hours of therapeutic revelation and maybe an ostomy or three. SPACE, Portland, ME 01.19.07
"DULY FIVE" Keeping the skids going, Crank & Id joined Chiaso for some space odysseys and plastic squeak toy shrines: elixir! Local 188, Portland, ME 01.21.07
"Bunda Loaf" Crank & Id lip it w/ Mike Pride and Fritz Welch for a four-way tunnel-hux trove! Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn, NY 02.15.07
"No man sweat/safety code" (see below) Black & White Gallery, Williamsburg NY 02.16.07
"No man sweat/safety code 2" A couple of wrap-session solo husolandix w/ the ol' porpoise tent, head apparatus, circuit licking, and semen-milk-mom-Clapton-theory. Czech box? Ewe betch! Gallery Inzane, Providence, RI 02.17.07
"So Low/Do It!" Crank & Id return to memes. Best half hour ever: guns, wits, moans, & spits! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 03.18.07
"My Two Matts" Crank & PCRV hit the shit for the fish eye balls and left coast plunge! Complete w/ ample amps and sweat and that obnoxious song "Holiday Roads" going over and over in our heads, you needn't read a blog to get the skinny... all attempts would rather you just refer to this journey as having put the ass back in "classroom dialectic".
The Bog (recording session), Seattle, WA 04.04.07
SS Marie Antoinette, Seattle, WA 04.05.07
The Hog House, Portland, OR 04.06.07
What's This Called w/ Ricaro Wang/KPSU, Portland, OR 04.07.07
Diva, Eugene, OR 04.07.07
Liz Albee's B-day/Terminal House, Oakland, CA 04.08.07
Hemlock Tavern, San Francisco, CA 04.10.07
Pehr Space, Los Angeles, CA 04.11.07
Nestor's Fuckhole, San Diego, CA 04.12.07
Rhinoceropolis, Denver, CO 04.15.07
"ChachaCanCan" Head-up, head-down (parable/exercise dance imperative); head-removal, hit-your-head (seeing red flashing lights); multiple concerns thereafter and having a beer can pyramid singalong. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 05.12.07
"Shanty for Ports" Cuneiform logic & double head acoustic have the kitchen in stitches & narc-ing the wine! Chutney Palacial, Portsmouth, NH 05.23.07
"Over 40, Over 50" Crank-Id/3rd installment drama: old porn, manrape, chalk rendition, double tangle bound, baseball pants, wigs, temple-cd/helmut-mut, and "Talk Dirty to Me" Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.24.07
"Bdbs..." seven or eight or nine peeps mount a stage to provide suction in the Badbus number and then proceed to watch the waves recede (aaaaah!) SPACE, Portland, ME 05.26.07
"CancanTwoface" Head-up, touch the ceiling faN, gggggggrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkk... down; rescind the offer, parable happy baby paramour/boopboopboop. Guitarrry. Done in five. Later? Badbus! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.30.07
"no such/none such" Solo portable w/ magic suitcase in a CO2 basement full a' punks. Yep, DIY/HC/vegan potluck/showtime. Results? Fuck yeah! In a house... South Portland, ME 06.07.07
"Ey'm cover-din(shet)//an' dit sauks" A solo seated pooper pauper histrionic; all the while covered in Hersheys, the labia-room was ne'er the same after that (seems my trip-tick had gone awry) 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 06.29.07
"Rey-Poo Re-New" A street act-shun; stalling the car and broadcasting follie /foolery, W2, Kit, & Crank revealed the dire mire of king shit & halfbeardedness! Lowell, MA 07.27.07
"CZ, A or U" A two-four lecture/emergency solo emancipate (sans pants) w/ dirigible and fuck-op's. Valley of LOVE? Werddup. Boca and raga-do and inflate!
Soto Gallery, Boston, MA 08.09.07
Kriya Studios, Burlington, VT 08.10.07
"Highway to the Dangerzone" A double boca stream-of-babbler! Crank and Kelly (aka Foxtrot and Top Gun) dangle from a parachute in the fog & the rain at this year's Sacred & Profane. Carrots? Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.27.07
"A little fat..." Crank does a talk and speak with books, fuchs, and squeals! Piano Factory, Boston, MA 11.15.07
"HUSOHUSOgrottoestate" Building a grotto ("hus"), Crank tried to give weight to sales and trends in real estate for an audience of tender, young waifs... best drink? The neighbor text message: "shut the fuck up over there" Slaughterhouse 2 Performance Event i.e., The Butcher Shoppe, Allston, MA 11.17.07
"Gentlemen Hecks presents Opportunity Trolls" With handsome devil, Galen Richmond. And his handsome circuit bends. Nitrogen bubbles gave doubletime hairline fractures with one man A and one man U. Instructional? All conic! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 12.04.07
"Michael Finnegan" Crank grew fat and thin again. A last minute pack dug out the book bend, tube weener, & noisome whirly lights; resulting in doods giving the finger, buxom transtangentalism, and Uncle Ron doing the twist (i.e., the Portsmouth). 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.08.07
"W2:2015" We stomped, lectured, received ridicule, and yet proceded to inflate the new year in while you were out. So it goes! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.07

"HUSO Sightings; Guided Tour/Euro-as-pope/t)'Our" Embarking the lonely loathsome, Crank reunited with many an old pecker and many more an old friend. The weather was as escapist as it was global, the beer as liberal as dew! Check and peck, what the heck!
Antenna Festival, Les Voutes, Paris, France 03.15.08
Warehouse9, Copenhagen, Denmark 03.18.08
WORM (NAI), Rotterdam, NL 03.21.08
Dennis Tyfus' Radio Show! Antwerp, Belgium 03.22.08
Les Bulles, Louvain la Neuve, Belgium 03.22.08
Something mangenerated... Hoegaarden, Belgium 03.23.08
OT301, Amsterdam, NL 03.24.08
Podium T, Tilburg, NL 03.25.08
Pit Noack's House, Hannover, Germany 03.26.08
Rote Flora, Hamburg, Germany 03.27.08
Ausland, Berlin, Germany 03.28.08
Tripolprojekt, Leipzig, Germany 03.29.08
RFTS HQ, Leipzig, Germany 03.29.08
multi.trudi, Frankfurt, Germany 03.30.08
Platfonn, Basel, Switzerland 03.31.08
Festival PIEDNU, Le Havre, France 04.01.08
"Busted" our best Beuys impersonation! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 05.14.08
"B'tarded" our second deepest impressionist dance piece, featuring mr. bubble, se�or poing, the heart, and an honest to goodness challenge to try and follow herr Lanz. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 05.15.08
"Loon Undone" A pinch of a micro tour including our bad jacket, the pump, some water, esophagus, gabber-paced heartbeat, and a swollen, swollen crotch. Puns you say? Humor in noise is very serious business! Special nods to Realicide, BIRTH!, Ricardo Wang, & Soup Purse for rounding out our trek-of-minds:
New Zone Gallery, Eugene, OR 06.26.08
Westside Welding & Machine, Vancouver, WA 06.27.08
Duet w/ Soup Purse, KPSU FM, Portland, OR 06.28.08
Olympia Experimental Music Festival, Olympia, WA 06.28.08
"Camp Huso/Theremin Cramp" Packing the last minute bags, Crank & Jim (his accountant), wandered northwest for some firecandy, raver detergent, & Gonzo-inspired tales. Where? Firefly Festival, somewhere in Vermont 07.04.08
"Fat Chew of Gliberty" The full orchestra united for a liberty statue exchange. Following a day full of tornado warnings, we upped the ante w/ a-dirigible/heil-gamelan-power-point-tighty-whitey (motorcycle gang) & yes-mom-uber-noise! All for la familia, Vialka. SPACE, Portland, ME 07.24.08
"Wally" Next, we rode The 3 up nor'east to a barn. Vaudeville, you say? Just try & hold a straight face when Wally interrupts yr set! RO HE GE, Belfast, ME 07.25.08
"Turkey Island" Id m theft able secret show #9. Ferrying the audience to a tiny island, Shea, Id, Eric, & Crank, well, they did sure as heck shore up the seeds & lay down the mud! Presumpscot River, Windham, ME 07.26.08
"Mllmbllmbll" Puffingbiggoitertugheartstrungmanibulashiesse! Noise Thunderdome 2, Providence, RI 08.09.08
"Damn obscure of you" Crank interrupts Id m Theft Able. Both wore white. Crank brought lyrics. Id built dams. Results? Only at... Strange Maine, Portland, ME 08.14.08
"Her ass was like a magnet" Croaking cans, birthday solutions, Mr Rogers, & powdered milk. No one got electrocuted, although man made milk and rockstars got wet! Say it: WOW. MOM!!! Montague Phantom Brain Exchange 8, The Rendezvous, Turner's Falls, MA 08.27.08
"Festival (of the) Sacred & Profane" Crank & Clog do it again! Mahouts, a white elephant--constructed this time out of an RV (and poo'ing gold bricks), and lots of badman apple juice! Peaks Island, ME 10.18.08
"All for one..." and why not? Reads: these shows are getting really personal, heheh. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 10.23.08
"And huns for all" Well, peeps, actually. Catapulting 100's of marshmallow peeps, the crowd tossed 'em back; Crank amplified 'em in a watery slew and proceeded to get electric. The Firehouse, Worcester, MA 10.24.08
"Sweat Pig, Tar Hog!" Crank, Kelly, Dave, Clog, & Gaylord got all bundled up in piggy noses and noises and white hats for our good pals, tarpigh! A weepie night, seeing all the old tribes in one room again... oooeee! Meg Perry Center, Portland, ME 11.29.08
"Wez to Wylacz Festival" Up and at 'em, Crank dropped & jeered! No one got hurt nor pregnant. Centralny Basen Artystyczny, Warsaw, Poland 12.05.08
"Wez to Wylacz Festival" For the double entendre, Crank & Eric Boros led the metal for a space reunion in time and django guitar anthems... following such, Crank donned appropriate swimming attire and led an exercise regime with local talented boy band, "Drew Bud". Where again? Say it! Centralny Basen Artystyczny, Warsaw, Poland 12.06.08

"At Your Cervix" Recovered from Poland, Crank donned the red heart, meat grinder, and conducted an electronic cold seasonal discharge slurry session! Everyone got pregnant. The Underground Map, Manchester, NH 02.13.09
"At Your Drunken-Leg-Equestrian-Molester-Chest-Hair-Suit-Mop (the floor) Cervix" Repeating the effect from the previous evening, this time the cops came! We narrowly escaped into the Holyoke Mountains. And everyone got pregnant. AGAIN?! Call OSHA. Purple House, Northampton, MA 02.14.09
"Geddoutgeddoutgeddoutgeddout" A love triangle. Trio'd at the XFEST, a three day happening, Dei X and Crank made yankee hornblowers (probable coupling issues nay-say'd away) whilst a nonplussed dancer unplugged 'em, compelling the wonder of the world to step up the rungs and get reeeeaaaally cordial. Something about a strap-on? Paired twice! Yell hard enough and strange births result! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 02.27.09
"Mountain/Molehill" Crank & Clog again! Ducking under the chutes under the auspices of the equinox, the two duel-drew, projected Minoans, and colored the skies burgundy with chubs, slubs, and perfect country-timing. Coleman Burke Gallery, Brunswick, ME 03.21.09
"Finding Emo" Crank & Id m Theft Able! Cosby pants, Boy-in-a-bubble, lady heads, mandresses, tuba rome, and the a priori notary machismo that only gets better with age! Part four of their ongoing OPUS... name the other three! Only at Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.01.09
"Cause Be Pants (pt 1)" Nearly separating wheels from mind, Crank fortuitously arrived in Burl's Hives, rendering his bucket lowly! Outer Space Cafe, Burlington, VT 04.24.09
"Cause Be Pants (pt 2)" ... joined by Dei X, Marc Bisson, & the Skinny Vinny duet, pants were launched, laddered, and scraped to the tune of water and molehill mountain ranges. Third Life Studio, Somerville, MA 04.25.09
"Be/Boys" 2 shades deep blue, lightning, primordial forms, butter, a bucket, dammit Joseph Beuys! BUOY, Kittery, ME 05.08.09
"too many Matts..." Matjaz (Gen 26), Mattaggart (PCRV), & Matt (Crank) all got in lil' HUSO/Echo & trekst th' up/down/side/side valley-um's of Nude Engle-gland. Police? Yep. Estrus circles? Ditto. Pills? Oh yeah. Sturgeon sightings? In triple!
Strange Maine, Portland, ME 06.10.09
Ello Gallery, Portsmouth, NH 06.11.09
Sweat Shop, Providence, RI 06.11.09
119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 06.12.09
Chevalier, Greenfield, MA 06.13.09
Flynn Studios, Burlington, VT 06.15.09
"Eddie Albert??" Crank & Id bust the rhymes and do a portable aqueduct tree watering parade. Arbor Day Late? Ululate: "yeeeaaah" with the purple hobos! Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.12.09
"Her Ass (magnet twice)" Not one to repeat anything too too often, Crank took to a roof this time with pimply buttocks, fart sounds, a skateboard, feathers, a leafblower, ventilation tubing, the Radisson hotel, and, a penis. Your guess? Reads like a greasy teenager with mommy issues, hup! Monastery Arts, Manchester, NH 07.18.09
"Tonight is your hot date with Crank Sturgeon" After a disastrous dinner date, our hero performed a set of copulatory acts with his salmon detector kit and a window. Rumpsti Pumsti, Berlin, Germany 07.25.09
"Revision Fishing" Gone fishing! Crank & ten brave guests hoisted flour & brightened the canal, ululating for a soggy pumped & gardenhosed Huso. Koom-Bai-Ya? Like a powerchord! A semi-bridge over the canal, Leipzig, Germany 07.29.09
"Adaptive Pants for the Man who lived Alone" Unable to keep it together, Crank set task to watering his legs 'til they were sooo swollen he couldn't move! Water as iron, hosing the hosen, Huso watched from afar, his eyemouthear singing quiet hymns to the earth... Werkstattprojekt, Leipzig, Germany 08.01.09
"Past Work Pariah" Oddness but not without commode. Crank reset three old tasks for a host of critics, evening out the round with a trio of hrumm-singers and a body-sized basin. Ahoj! MC Orion, Tabor, CZ Republic 08.12.09
"Le Ver de Terre" Klasikhairycenterbore. Of mountains and molehills? Go for EVEREST. Thusly ensued a group video-installation-performance featuring Jerome Porsberger, Melissa Ramos, Crank Sturgeon and Rhys Turner... massiveness indivisible and under-coveted! Ra! Part of the Undercovered Festival at CESTA, Tabor, CZ Republic 08.29 thru 08.31.09
"Cuidado cuidado, cada persona" Crank gets the fans on. 100 degrees fahrenheit! David's House, Madrid, Spain 09.01.09
"... y me llamo don Quixote..." thereafter, rubbing in the beardosity. Los Jacintos, Madrid, Spain 09.02.09
"... avec une possion?" Oui! Revisiting ol' Nico! Naked, popping torpor, hand clutching the purple, ahem, yeah wellness course. SK House, Lyon, France 09.03.09
"Bap/tismo" With blessed returns, doing facial spins for Eric & Marylise. Cure the ills and wire the nuts! Via 'L Kabaret, Thiers, France 09.04.09
"Suddencrank" A duel mit herr Lanz, Crank's favorite uncle! Baby pram, adult diapers, and the perennial: "are you okay?" w/ Sudden Infant, A und V Gallery, Leipzig, Germany 09.06.09
"1,2,3,GO" Ditching the pram for subwoofers, our allegiance continued in unabashed volume and fisty wisty shaking. Now and again, you just hafta noise it up. w/ Sudden Infant, Raum 18, Berlin, Germany 09.07.09
"Are you happy??" Crank rejoins the Maineland with a performance birthday session for Tashi. Equipped with fur-spoons, parachute, & potato flakes, Montville had an early inflatable winter! Kingdom Falls, Montville, ME 09.19.09
"Festival of the Sacred & Profane/Frank Sinatra's Cabin" Warned and wary of the wiled ill wills and weathering said reputes, Clog & Crank inflated amply in a cold wet room and did tribute to Ol' Blue Eyes. On request? Nay molest! The Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.03.09
"Noam Gnome Noam Gnome!" What's in the bag? Still ensconced, Crank wandered in from the rain & manifested a personal yurt. Oh yeah, and a purple penis. Feeding Tube Records, Easthampton, MA 10.23.09
"...all for Ms. Goodman" Continuing the saga, further shouts bound our gal Amy into the merry bananarchist mix; afterall, bananarchists know how to heft better and crack jokes about their skin colors than most of the other ists. So ensued. Many octaves. Many loaves. Many chutes. Personal yurts. Where was ol' Mr. Buchanan? 381 Congress, Boston, MA 10.24.09
"Are we not MEN?" Crank joined Phantom Buffalo once again, this time in a raucous three guitar, howling, energy-domed-clad version of DEVO! When else? Halloween. Where else? SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 10.31.09
"Hunting Poems" Unable to get it up, Crank joined Id m Theft Able for some dirty laundry spinning. Apohadion, Portland, ME 11.09.09
"A fine fencing betwixt..." Crank, Gaylord, & Clog reunite as the Anti-Friend Hut once more! This time, narrating a series of paintings by John Joslin; complete with a rickety picket fence for a stage, three nekkid men lurching to/fro behind, and the effervescent curtain call. Apohadion, Portland, ME 11.18.09
In the lands below that of the thwarting everglading Manson & Nixon, a slurry of fish tales and genital umbrage ensued! Also known as, Crank's last blast before the winter hits!
The Triple, Richmond, VA 12.01.09
Collab Fest 34/The Water Heater, Roanoke, VA 12.02.09
Maya Gallery, Greensboro, NC 12.03.09
Lloyd & Serena's, Carroboro, NC 12.04.09
Izzy's, Asheville, NC 12.05.09
Gregs! Fayetteville, NC 12.06.09

"Camouflage Marriage" Coming out of a wintery slumber, Crank joined Katt, Lauren, & Ben for a four-circle dentine set of carpal breakage and ship-fire. And later? Later was a marriage (of sorts, the jury's stilll out, heh) with the lovely Claire. In a bathroom. With an Italian guy. A bad, mean, drunk Italian guy. Spare no watering cans! XFESTastic! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 02.27.10
"Triptychtastic Transtangenital Transfoamingnation" Ode to a three piece. Anointing a watering can helmet w/ just enough beer gave courage to do a phonetic film strip lecture, which finally, and once again, allowed Crank to transmogrify into ol' green Ubu (but this time, more like Max Ernst's). What's that you say? Too many words? Try two hairdryers, a ghillie suit, and the worrisome details about whether it's too early to wear white! Them's your mercy; that's our Sturgeon!
Feeding Tube Records, Easthampton, MA 03.03.10
House of Going's-On, Manchester, NH 03.05.10
The Enchanted Forest, Burlington, VT 03.06.10
"iSought/iSaw" Going w/ a diptych this time, Crank bloodied fingers, sawed pi�atas, & hovered the horde with the gang! BUOY, Kittery, ME 03.21.10
"Poisson d' Avril" Oding gloats & geodes to Tzara, Crank had the audience perform "How to Make a Dadaist Poem" while he drove off to 7-11 for a PBR run. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 04.01.10
"HAZE this". Unwittingly, Crank stepped into a hazing ritual. Ululations, gurgles, encores, and heat guns. Damn, nueva jork, damn! Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn, NY 04.02.10
"FIST that". Lacking better vests, Crank did his aforementioned TTT three piece. Fists were waved, moshes ensued, people got wet/blinded/and blood-let. Dammit if someone giggled during the Bailey solo part of the show, prompting the subtitle immersion to be called "Fuck Experimental Music" i.e., yeah. Word. Hippie. Outer Spaceways Inc., Brooklyn, NY 04.03.10
"Poisson/Part 2" Performed Tzara's "How to..." as well as Ball's "Karawane" for sixth graders, as part of the Read Across America program. Totally hilarious. Those kids rule! Brunswick Junior High, Brunswick, ME 04.09.10
"Bearded Sarah Mahoney Sisters" Crank & Id m Theft Able emcee'd a night of sonic pals from near & far. French was spoken. Shout outs to Top Gun. Poetry with the Out-Bops. Projected worlds & bouncers. Green inflatable heads. Mounts n' moles! Apohadion, Portland, ME 04.12.10
"C'est la merde F'est" Ghillie suited, inflated, & free jazz keyboard one night; "Eyes without a Face" duo with Id m Theft Able the next! All for Quebecois! Vive le France!
Strange Maine, Portland, ME 04.24.10
Apohadion, Portland, ME 04.25.10
Hooking up with perennial tour-pal, PCRV, the two trekked this big & wide of ours. Water was used, as were Fluxus scores, inflatables, 50 gallon trash bags, 30 gallon feats, occasional police spotlights, electric shockers, ghillie suits, power electronics, brooms, bathrooms, more eyeballs, audience instructions, sweat, and probably a beer (or three). Here's where:
Denver Noise Fest, Old Curtis Street Bar, Denver, CO 05.01.10
Clawfoot House, Lincoln, NE 05.02.10
Floating Laboratories, St Louis, MO 05.03.10
Enemy, Chicago, IL 05.04.10
Betty's Grill, Nashville, TN 05.05.10
Heart's Desire House, Tallahassee, FL 05.06.10
The Laboratory, Gainesville, FL 05.07.10
The West Nest, St. Augustine, FL 05.08.10
Gregs! Fayetteville, NC 05.09.10
Maya Gallery, Greensboro, NC 05.10.10
Lloyd & Serena's House, Carrboro, NC 05.11.10
The Water Heater, Roanoke, VA 05.12.10
Art Damage Lodge, Cincinnati. OH 05.13.10
Bela Dubby, Cleveland, OH 05.14.10
Borg Ward, Milwaukee, WI 05.15.10
"A traditional serving of mister tea" Id m & Crank yelled "do you want some tea?" for quite some time. After a while, they broomed, celebrated, projected, served, and left an audience to parade the streets with pitcher heads, thirty gallon's worth of lapsang souchong, and a long sign-up sheet for the day's meme: aka, teabagging. SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 05.25.10
"Solstice on a Boat" 150 of your new best friends? On a boat in Casco Bay? Longest day of the year? You need Crank Sturgeon! With semaphore hands, extendo-penis, bicorn helmet, & inflatable octopod, he'll be your guide, far & wide, and cease the tumultuous seas within! Casablanca Cruises, Casco Bay, ME 06.21.10
"FF" pretty unsure if there were snorkels to be found, Crank stuck to magnificent baby blue eyes, portable optic chips (will travel), and low groans (exempting the sweat dome, of course). Firefly Festival, Bethel, VT 07.03.10
"Husopathy" again with the baby blues: accompanied by cloud forms, tornado tubed gutter klip lights, woodcut glyphs, clapping hordes, god wires, and why of course, act-shuns! It's another grotto by Crank! All at MEME, Cambridge, MA
Horde assembly & clap action. 07.16.10
Alcohol Reduction Ceremony/Down with the Ship. 07.17.10
God Wire/30 gallon parade. 07.18.10
"pzzAp" Crank, again, shot loomy sparks into badman antics: rendering injections, endearing corrections, and missing his popolo. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.28.10
"Work those 5's to th' 9's" Encouraged by his previous dissatisfactions, Crank performs nine acts, each five minutes in length, spread over the first two days of Frantasia. Remember Frantasia? Well it's as amazing as ever. And our hero? Still soaking in the blisters and blitz. Like the Cremaschi once said, "so fck'n good". We agree, imperially! Frantasia, Livermore Falls, ME 08.19 & 20.10
"The Man Shun" Crank rambles down to that part of 95 that everyone who goes thru wonders, "what's that house on the island with the bridge all about?" Welcome a bright red paper costume, amplified apple, and a sleeping bag complete with Kenny G, latex gloves, & an inflatable sturgeon, and you put the "merry" right back into Merrimac River. The Mansion, Newburyport, MA 09.05.10
"Man Shun Zwei" Taking cue from this antecedent, the vibe was downplayed, but bronzing mentions (honorable, of course) & art nights had their nighties ironed and salon styled. Worth the drive? Absolute. The Studio, Holyoke, MA 09.10.10
"Very Badge" And so the day turns to night, and frightenings of clamor politix & white people had the Hut family back on track. What, you say? Amplified badminton, silly! Starring Gaylord as Uzbekistan, Kit as Creta, Id m Theft Able as Quebec, Clog as Block Island, Kelly as Bahamas, Crank as Investistan, and Alonzo as Dropoutistsan. Birdies were shuttled! Add three more and it's a cock frenzy! SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 09.11.10
"Milli Van Illy" Cues all around, Crank shot for a solo tape on tape trill-along and 50 HI's while whoring a guitar electro for 13 life changing/alewife swapping minuet! "You're wearing pants for the first time!" Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 09.12.10
"West words won't!" Joining his brothers from other mothers, Styrofoam Sanchez, Crank co-rode the thousand mile mark; trekkin' the up/down from Oakland to Olympia! Featuring much scratching, loose leaf polystyrenery, more 50 HI's, and much ado about spitting, these hairy lads counted their blushings and made survivable chalk-keeps into oedipal cement! So noisy, so delicious! Occurring at thee following jogs:
DIVA, Eugene, OR 09.29.10
Northern, Olympia, WA 09.30.10
KPSU, Portland, OR 10.01.10
Westside Welding & Machine, Vancouver, WA 10.01.10
Norcal Noise Festival, Sacramento, CA 10.02.10
The Zoo, Oakland, CA 10.03.10
"TENTENTEN" Crank rallied all his best friends to do it tenfold. And they did! Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME 10.10.10
"Hoboplane" Crank, Clog, Chris, Gaylord, and DeiX lay cardboard to Miami, vis-a-vis a corrugated monoplane! Turrets were spun, vertigo lapsed, airmail delivered, and sputters propelled! Where else? Certainly not sanctioned by an arts commission, but at the Festival of the Sacred & Profane? You belch your BP, buddy! Battery Steele, Peaks Island, ME 10.23.10
"Fuck Chronicles" Ha! In a basement, Crank pretty much fucked everything. On paper. With a paper-punch. And a rocking chair. Damn. Unitarian Universalist Church, Brunswick, ME 11.14.10
"Chair down hair" Ha, again! Crank doggled up to the university & felt weird. Still, ol' Rube musta' been emanating; the string went up, the chair rocked, the pelt rose, and giggles did soar, even with the rather disgusting (still?) conclusional "aaaaaaaaaand SWALLOW". Alumni Theatre, University of Maine, Farmington, ME 11.21.10
"whoso house detain male" Oh man. Harps. Smiles. Deutsch. Building shoddy houses from cheap bamboo, bobbing for apples, falling off th' bouncy chair: makes alcoholics of us all. Bathe the balls in brown ale? Hornet nest! That's gotta sting. Strange Maine! Portland, ME 12.04.10
"donegoneditchya" The h�s of cards fell shy of a whisper; broken, every bit. A strange, and yet despite the frustration, comfortable incursion into error. Ain't that fresh? 381 Congress, Boston, MA 12.18.10
"Happy 1915" Anointed in penis blockprint inflatable garb, and accompanied by a tall, tall other-man's-wife named DeiX, Crank and this adultress bred a baby-within-a-baby named Id m theft able! Birthdays within birthdays spelled trouble though: a dark cloud passed by & ensuing external circumstances colored the evening with gang violence, ravaging and emptying clips into people two houses away. A strange imbalance of celebration within, and the grim outside. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.10

"Zibbyzibbyzibby..." Id m theft able & Crank took it up on the MC table for the coldest night yet. In the candlelight of yetis & hippies smoking and drooling, the duo took turns: churning, narrating, and ipp-opp'ing the groove basin. All at Apohadion Theatre. Portland, ME 01.23.11
"Stir Crazy Cabin Fever Innuendo". Not quite through, Crank doubled his boca and told a story of cock, butt, pump, & saliva (unspecified props, you might infer) for the Dead of Winter 5 show. Self-deprecation included! SPACE Gallery, Portland, ME 01.28.11
"simulaction thrice shy" Id, Reed, & Crank did a few Mattaggart fluxus scores received by way of the post. Sort of an international affair; others were performing said scores far & wide... Strange Maine, Portland, ME 02.04.11
"forty candles"... someone probably yelled "FIRE". In the meantime, Crank ululated to Syd, while caressing his 30-something candles with cinnamon. A rap was attempted, and the cardboard castle nodded approvingly. Then, FINALLY, these colors began to run. Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 02.26.11
"Sock 'er maum" Crank, W2, Shayna, and Andrea-Jane tossed a few, grunting most pleasing audio spurts-- fourway in a sling! XFest/119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 03.5.11
"Gunter Brews a daily homily" Following suit, Crank loaded his balls, samplers, candles, socks, forks, pajamas, and his dream home, all into a tiny cup with some ice cold cerveza. Answer? Retraction! XFest/119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 03.6.11
"the most beautiful person in Maine..." Id & Crank doo-whet! Napoleon, bees, flowers, tea-cozies, rest areas, rifles, pole dancing, crangsta-rapping, and didgeridoods. UU Church, Brunswick, ME 03.12.11
"...cloudy day" A three part vernal, Crank long-armed a "you are" song; emission genteel detailed a projection of boobies; thirdly circumvenilation with rifle, clouds, and a blue sky. You? Are. Sun Worship 8. BUOY, Kittery, ME 03.19.11
"This isn't a buddy film, is it?" Crank & Taggart (aka PCRV) hopped in the Chevy once again, following the muse of western plains and desert high wire acts. By no means a repeat of their 2007 travails, this lil' ogre was as meaty, if not more testy and jostling: lots of glue, candles, cups, ropes, tape, chairs, suspended violins, vile loins, amplified portraits, paper punches, and volumetric elements were involved; with additional partnering with ol' chums, GX Jupitter-Larsen & Styrofoam Sanchez. Here's their route!
Pat's Place, Billings, MT 04.10.11
Wild Joe's, Bozeman, MT 04.11.11
Object Space, Spokane, WA 04.12.11
Fun House, Seattle, WA 04.13.11
Le Gong, St. John's, Portland, OR 04.14.11
Vinegar, Portland, OR 04.15.11
KPSU, Portland, OR 04.16.11
New Zone, Eugene, OR 04.16.11
Klowd's House, Sacramento, CA 04.17.11
The Zoo, Oakland, CA 04.18.11
Dem Passwords, West Hollywood, CA 04.19.11
Trunk Space, Phoenix, AZ 04.20.11
Small Engine Reserve, Albuquerque, NM 04.21.11
Denver Noise Festival, Old Curtis Street Bar, Denver, CO 04.23.11
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF". Crank solo. Amplified F's. Frat Cave, Waltham, MA 04.29.11
"Specific Props Act-Shun # 44 (or 45)". Crank's second estrus debate, fully clothed. Parable of sorts in HD about hottentots and those dried fruits that one gets from certain palm trees. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 05.12.11
"Specific Props Act-Shun #Elsewise (or so)". Crank entered a fashion show. Under full moon, he saw four leaping short-nosers. As if by omen, Crank won. By bribing one of the judges with his Toyota. Altered Couture Fashion Show. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 06.15.11
"Pried & Hog-Tied" Taking a cue from the weather, Crank converted blue skies into cloudy days with an "arse-en-all" of cotton balls, penises, packing tape, a violin, and several yards of rope. Shout out? All the way. Bad pun? Mutha-humpah! Ende Tymes Festival. Silent Barn, Queens, NY 06.24.11
"all eyes on the man, man/Wall St. Urinal" Following thru on being so strung-up, Crank taped a triangle of eyes and gave it a face. Motown interrupted, and R. Mutt ossified the bankers with laps of sodium bicarbonate & a violin. 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 07..9.11
"sleepin' with ze fish" In continuity with hovering all-seeing optics, Crank joined up with his dear emissaries, Mystic Out-Bop Review, jazzing it up a stanza whilst the eyes hovered, horns were exchanged, acupuncture machines sewed, and the third gallon (of sweat) poured... all to end in nail clippings, inflatable fishies, and a loose net cast. Strange Maine, Portland, ME 07.17.11
"sexy time bamba" Para Bailar? Oh, si! Crank bambas in c7 #9 after boobie projections, sweat drops, & shamanic tape-up clouds. Dance? Se necesito! Seizure Fest @ the Bombshelter, Brunswick, ME 07.23.11
"duet in wicked/Still the Same" id m theft & Crank abled the silly stringings, ceramic bowling ball crushes, stood there staring, rocked some Bob Segar threads, nervously held hands, busted some downeast dialect jams, and sweated through a few flags to a John Deere salute! Strange Maine 07.24.11
"near death #37", Clog & Crank joined up again, following thru with where the hobo aircraft arts commission grant failed: buzzing, crashing, and moaning, with scoops of flour to spare. Only at? Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME 07.30.11
"gametes gametes gametes" keeping the prize fighter spirit aloof, Clog & Crank revisit one another; serving one another dinner, as Ant would to Aardvark, via skype, no less (but still able and theatric!) Apohadion Theatre, Portland, ME & LACE Gallery, Los Angeles, CA 08.04.11
"stre-e-e-tch" On a mission, Crank did the boot-tape-viola strange-love. And were your moons full of Sturgeon, too? Feeding Tube Records, Northampton, MA 08.13.11
"stre-e-e-e-tch" Still with his stances, the stanzas made for stretchy eyes, miles and miles wide! Weird Stalk Festival, Cambridge, MA 08.14.11
"extensions, retentions, and sun-shower yawns" Extending limbs, sending letters full of onions, crying at shows, nights of white satin, guitar trapeze with Toyota, & constable yawn stapling (with id m theft able); where else and how? Fran's your man. And Crank's tux shirt needed it badly. 08.18-20.11 Frantasia Festival of Out Music & Arts, Farmington, ME
"Different Animal" taking cues from the former, Crank busted loins, girded frowns, busted onions, and dashed for collections of seashells, scotch tape, portraitures, and twine. Where ya say? Europe's your pope, brethren!
Sumo, Lyon, France 09.03.11
la Jarry, Paris, France 09.04,11
Presqu il de Caen, Caen, France 09.05.11
Maison d' toilette, Cherbourg, France 09.07.11
au Jolly, Caen, France 09.08,11
Une indeterminate bar... Brest, France 09.09.11
Bistrot de Monsieur Jules, Nantes, France 09.10.11
Punk au chien, Lille, France 09.12.11
Sala Taberna Alabanda. Madrid, Spain 09.13.11
La Papa, Barcelona, Spain 09.14.11
La Carboneria, Barcelona, Spain 09.15.11
Boro, Brno, Czech Republic 09.16.11
Bomba, Krakow, Poland 09.17.11
Szabad az A, Budapest, Hungary 09.19.11
Jalla Jalla,, Ljubljana, Slovenia 09.21.11
Borgen/Full Pull Festival, Malmo, Sweden 09.24.11
Mayhem, Copenhagen, Denmark 09.25.11
Gårdaskolan, Gothenburg, Sweden 09.27.11
A und V, Leipzig, Germany 09.29.11
Sucked Orange Gallery, Berlin, Germany 09.30.11
Loophole, Berlin, Germany 10.01.11
Laboratory @ CCA, Warsaw, Poland 10.02.11
Kisielice. Poznan, Poland 10.03.11
"Cafe Derelicte" Following their noses, & hosing the pink tubes with sangria and hotdoggery doggerel, our heroes set up shoppe and watched the in's & out's of service industry breech the linen-thin skin of art, wiling its way into some conceptually knee-deep muddle puddles. So, where, you ask? Why the Battery Steele, friend! Festival of the Sacred & Profane, Peaks Island, ME 10.15.11
"Story Telling Night" Id m & Crank gathered skins 'round the firepit, orating tales of Wurther's Candy, onion tears, burning Freeport, ME; hippity-hopping, digeridoo'ing, & seeing thru each other's eyes; and finales about emasculation, guitar roasting, penis poems, and yet, still: keeping it kid-friendly. Or rather, more to the point, a general audience admission paradigm switch: for artists, their kids, & tree-huggin' far-lefties. Backyard Show in a Tower, Bayside, Portland, ME 10.21.11
"Total E-clipping" id m, Deix, & Crank did their joinery! this time, mess/ages regaled tales in art burn relief, moss/limb gaudy (sculpted not frayed), patrio-calumny, and widely scattered but easily assed anthems & handling. Sonorium V, Griffen Theatre, Salem, MA 11.05.11
"per/sever/an/sc-cz/ed/id" Crank & id did the maulway/unquite buddy phlegm up's the sideway to/fro ninja-tack/vis-a-vice (che) the UK, boggledom, and Eire! A woot or two had thrice sppports huey, and man was it PINK!
Smell Sound of Forensic Y's, Grey Area Gallery, Brighton, UK 11.11.11
Colour Out of Space Festival, The Old Market, Brighton, UK 11.11.11
secret show. London, UK 11.14.11
Fox and Newt, Leeds, UK 11.15.11
CCA, Glasgow, UK 11.16.11
Morden Tower, Newcastle, UK 11.17.11
Post No Bills Party Hoose, Edinburgh, UK 11.18.11
The Joinery, Dublin, Eire 11.19.11
Plugd Records, Cork, Eire 11.20.11
"Flestivus in Flee Plarts" Crank joined the girl-in-the-ten-pounds-of-christmas-lighting (DieX) for an optimum night of allergies, sing alongs, and really loud playback of a fairly red costume recording, done live, with an egg timer, and you weren't there, sigh. FLOFT, 381 Congress, Boston, MA 12..0.11
"Booty, Bits, & Boobs" reclaiming the previous night's accord, the duet/treaty continued with passionate cries for OCCUPATION, onions, tape, egregious costumes with Xmas initiatives, and a dance-a-thon, performed by a greeting card rendition of "la Bamba", as channeled thru the loudest-amp-in-Lowell. Where? Why, the 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.10.11
"Hun Were Ship" On a crucifixational spree, his nibs brushed teeth, bowed the heavy tantrum, and voiced it over in three acts. Was it red? The arms were spread, and LO, those o's. Sun Worship 11, BUOY, Kittery. ME 12.17.11
"Who I'd invite to New Year's Eve..." Crank invited them. One big, long list. With another big, long dirigible. And furthermore, many other big, long & loveliness(es) transpired, as the clock sputtered to a midnight rift. Down you count? On with the show! 119 Gallery, Lowell, MA 12.31.11

"One Hand Up"... starting off the new year, Crank once again delved into his annual portrayal of cabin fever; this time accompanied by an overriding voice control, the magical number 1, possessing very large hands, and an attempt at skiing with violins. Frontier, Brunswick, ME 01.26.12